ashesofkatarr | IC Inbox

Can we get a second boba? Or coffee. Really, I'm easy.

You were... amazing out there.

[It's quite some time before Visas replies to this.

When she does, her voice is almost totally flat--just a hint of the confusion she feels upon receiving this message.]

I tried to kill you.

You sure did. I would've tried to return the favor, but I was a little busy at the moment.

Are you thinking of trying again?

[ Root assumes not, but hey, she doesn't know how this corruption works. It's worth checking! And it's also irresistibly cheeky. ]

No, I... was not behaving as I usually do. [It was the way she used to feel and behave. It still disturbs her that her mind was cast back to that dark bent.] But I would have thought you would want to avoid me after seeing me try.

[ Root isn't interested in someone who acts that way consistently, indiscriminately. She's interested in someone who could, who keeps it contained and has it under control; the capacity exists, but it's aimed, directed.

That's how she is, after all, and she runs into very few people like her in that regard. ]

I know. We triggered the defense mechanisms on the terminal, and it messed with you. [ Root shrugs to herself on her end of the conversation. Forgiven, but not at all forgotten. ] I just didn't realize you had all that hiding in there, Visas!

[There's another long pause. All that hiding in there. It's strange--funny, almost--because Visas both hides and does not hide. She spent her time with Nihilus lurking in the shadows, spying, sabotaging, finding victims to lure towards him.

But in another sense, she doesn't hide--not in the way that Atton did, not in the way Kreia did, cloaking themselves and their true nature under layers of obfuscation. Now she feels she understands Atton a little better... why he was as slippery and bitter as alkaline.]

It is not something I am proud of.

When the corruption affected me... I have behaved in such a way before. I had chosen not to feel and do those things anymore.

I guess I should put my cards on the table. I used to be a contract killer and hacker. I took jobs and I didn't care who it hurt.

[ Root sounds forthright, like she's not hiding but also not proud, either. ]

Now, my story isn't as exciting as yours, what with your laser sword and your ability to choke people from across a room, but I know something about choosing to be a different person.

[OH. Okay.

Now Visas understands. Like Atton, like Mira, like Bao-Dur... the broken people who found and were found by the Jedi Exile. Root is from a different place and time, but she is one of them.]

Then you can understand, perhaps... how frightening it is to be flung back to that time, that person you no longer wished to be.

[ That's an interesting statement, one it takes her a bit to parse and formulate a reply to. ]

That wasn't so long ago for me, [ she says wryly. ] But everything I've done, I've done on purpose. I get how losing control would feel different.

[ Despite her perky flirting, Root absolutely gets that. Every act of violence she's ever committed has been perfectly deliberate, totally clear-eyed; no excuses. If she simply lashed out against her own will -- that would be horrifying, its own kind of violation. ]

It is strange to recollect it. I have been unsettled by the falsity of the "life" around us ever since I first arrived. Maybe if we had real things around us, I would have noticed that I was thinking in a strange way, instead of just progressing further down a dark path I was already on.

My actions at the time made perfect sense to me. It was only after the corruption lifted that I realized what was wrong.

That really bothers you that much? [ If she's used to experiencing all of reality that way, then... ] It must be extremely disorienting. I've always thought of existence as a little more malleable than that.

But you said the rest of us register as alive you, didn't you? [ She's thinking about how to handle it if the corruption affects her again. ]

The simulation is enough to fool my physical senses. Touch, hearing, taste, smell. If every sense of yours but one told you the world was one way, and your eyes showed you something totally other, would you not be unsettled?

You do register as alive. I can see the Force in you--the way it is in a thing that is truly alive. Moving in it, through it.

Absolutely. But you seem to be dealing with it pretty well the rest of the time.

[ Nosy? For sure. Root isn't shy with people she's interested in. ]

So let's say this happens again -- can we use that somehow to help you regain control? That we're registering correctly to you?

I could see you as alive then, too. I just thought what you were doing was futile. Offensively so.

[Seem to be dealing it with it pretty well. Maybe. She has grown accustomed to it, as one does with a foul smell.]

For now, I have no choice but to accept this strange circumstance. That is how I am dealing with it.

[ The video opens to Mitama, though just like in her recent post, she's wearing her "Santa disguise". She's here on an important business, after all. ]

Ho, ho, ho! Thank you for joining our Secret Santa event~ It's time to find out what ─ or rather who ─ your assignment as Santa's Little Helper for this year is! Drumroll, please...

[ She makes a pause for a dramatic effect, her hand slipping into a Santa hat she's holding and pulling out a small piece of paper with a name on it. ]

It's none other than... Minato Arisato, the sleepy leader!

Remember, you should present your assignee with a gift of your choice until December 25th! Good luck, and remember: your main task is to spread joy, happiness and the spirit of Christmas cheer!

Miss Santa Coordinator, out!

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video; un: misscoordinator